A person living with middle-stage Alzheimer's has lost the ability to make sense of the world as easily. Sometimes, the world makes sense during lucid moments. Other times, the dark spots of the light-colored tile are seen as holes that must be filled.
When approaching, make sure you learn what is on the person's mind.
You can't just bound into the room, greet him/her jovially and expect a "Sweetie-am-I-glad-to see-you" gleam in his/her eye!
You're more likely to get the "Who-the-heck-are-you?" glare if s/he looks at you at all.
What can you do to start off on the right foot while marching to same beat?
Approach slowly. Wait for the person to become aware of your presence.
Make sure your eyes meet. You want the person to see you.
Smile. You want the person to feel you are a friend. Barbara Gaughen-Muller, Caregiver of the Month, explains, "Nothing lifts the heart as easily as a smile. And it's free!"
Use the person's name then introduce yourself and state your relationship (wife, husband, son, daughter, sister, brother, friend). Sometimes, the person may act surprised and exclaim, "I know who you are!"
Ask a simple question, initially. WAIT for a response. Be patient. Ask the initial question differently if you don't receive a response or change the subject.
We can never really know the world our loved ones are living in...
One day, about a year after my father had been living in the nursing home, I arrived to see him irritated.
"Hi Mardig!" (We called him by his first name, Martin, in Armenian.) "How are you?" He looked at me strangely, so I introduced myself. "I'm Brenda, your daughter."
He then looked at me sternly. "You're LATE!"
For what? I had NO IDEA!
"Are you with me or not?" he demanded.
Trying to be agreeable, I retorted, "I'm with you!" What could he be talking about?
"Well c'mon then. Let's go!"
"Uh, okay... you lead."
Would you believe - No, you wouldn't; how could you? - he wanted me to join him and his English Countrymen to fight the war?
And here's the kicker: He's Armenian! He's never been to England!
In any case, I accompanied him right through the secure doors to the lobby where we waited for the train to take us to England. We would be waiting a LONG TIME! We were in California!
When visiting a person with Alzheimer's, be careful to first establish eye-contact with a smile then learn what's on the person's mind so you can more easily connect.
Brenda Avadian, MA, of http://www.TheCaregiversVoice.com, is an award-winning speaker who serves as a national spokesperson for family and professional caregivers and is an internationally acclaimed author. Brenda advocates the caregiving continuum, using support groups, geriatric assessment, educational sessions, in-home care, adult day care, elder law services, clinical studies, and residential, assisted living, or nursing care. Having been a caregiver, she now brings hope and strength to caregivers around the world through knowledge, humor, and tears of joy. SIGN-UP for The Caregiver's Voice monthly newsletter at http://thecaregiversvoice.us1.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=d98042deca26180a34d771568&id=cbd1e45d58
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